Relativity
In Bed: It is 6:00 a.m., you close your eyes for five minutes and it is 7:45 a.m.
In Office: It is 9:30 a.m, you close your eyes for five minutes and it is still 9:30 a.m.

Remember when WAR was just a card game?

Wise men know everything;
Shrewd men know everybody!

All earthquake insurance is no-fault

Budget: Keeping a record of living beyond your means!

Mum's the word if you can't spell Chrysanthemum!

You have to be little to "belittle"

Analysis Paralysis

Too many politicians live on "fixed" incomes

Some are known by their deeds -
others by their mortgages

But do blondes prefer gentlemen?

My husband sleeps on the job -
He is a mattress tester!

Save your dollars -
they might be worth something... someday

Gymnasts fall head over heels for themselves

Cauliflower is Cabbage with a College Education

How come the best man never gets the bride

A MAN MAYBE AS YOUNG AS HE FEELS,
BUT SELDOM AS IMPORTANT

A loss is the 'won' that got away!

I can't get charged up about apathy

Winter tires for sale:
We skid, you not!