Relativity
In Bed: It is 6:00 a.m., you close your eyes for five minutes and it is 7:45 a.m.
In Office: It is 9:30 a.m, you close your eyes for five minutes and it is still 9:30 a.m.

Remember when WAR was just a card game?

Wise men know everything;
Shrewd men know everybody!

All earthquake insurance is no-fault

Budget: Keeping a record of living beyond your means!

Mum's the word if you can't spell Chrysanthemum!

You have to be little to "belittle"